Sunday, September 27, 2009

River's very long short story- From daddy's prospective (Homebirth/ Waterbirth Story)

To my wife with love,

Well here are some things that happened (during the quick four hours of your labor) while you were in "labor-land" (so you don't forget)- From daddy's prospective. When your water broke you weren't sure if it really was your water that truly broke. That's when I reaffirmed what you already knew in your heart to be true... and then River was born in a pond.

Just kidding :) I know that guys are supposed to be like: "yup. es sir. nope. don't reckon I do" So I'll try and give you a bit more.

Let's see...

Once we had made our way to apartment I had to figure out a scheme to get our A/C fixed and the workers out of the home with out cueing them into you having a home birth... So I told them you were in labor and we need them to be finished as soon as possible. In the back of my head I knew River's labor was going to be quick... but like you said all those statistics were telling me to be open and ready for a long labor. The only thing I didn't want to have happen is for my arms to turn in to jello from massaging your back for days. Now I don't even remember it bothering me at all. So you jumped in the shower and I had a heart to heart with Efran, the A/C guy. I said my wife's water just broke and we are going to have a baby soon. "Wow, get her to the hospital! Congratulations!"
Well that's just it. We are having a home birth (so much for having reservations) and I need my A/C fixed and you and your works to leave as soon as you can. Even if you think it's not fixed. "Okay good luck! I do that for you mang. Your wife es gonna be so happy when your boy comes."

I heard him on the roof fixing it for the next hour but he didn't come back in. And then you handed me the phone. Samantha explained to me that you were starting to not be coherent and you had a bunch of contractions, and that you may be in active labor. Then we gave her a list of what to get and you put on a skirt.

Fast Forward >>>

Then Beate came in and I was thinking what are you doing here, but then she immediately dropped to her knees and held you from the front while I was massaging your back. It was a bit difficult to get to you cause you pulled a mama cat and wedged yourself between the couch and the coffee table. She then, speaking clearly and with the angels all around, "It's okay. You can do it. We're here for you. That was good." and things of that nature, not in that order. Angelically and eloquently she spoke as I switched with Samantha. She massaged. It was awesome to get a break from messaging your back... It felt like I just started but I knew it had been longer. It was such a relief for me because or apartment was so messy... and I wanted it to be picked up so we weren't worrying about this or that being in the way.

My To-Do list at-the-time included:
- wow we are messy... make sure all the clothes get to the baskets
- oops all of our towels are dirty... wash them quick
- oh no... we don't have quarters for the laundry machine.
- get Quarters stat... For real!
- make sure I have all the parts for the birthing pool
- we need cold-er water... get a bag of ice

Then I grabbed the keys, still thinking it was going to be hours until the babe was born, and ran to my Jeep. First I stopped at the ATM on the way to Gas station for that bag of ice. Then to the Kwik wash to get some Quarters for our laundry machines. I know all those places are close to where we live but I did it in less than 5 minutes.
Once I was back home. I started to get the pool set up and you melted my heart with your cries. You said I need you. So I came over and started to massage you until that contraction had passed. Then Grace and I had to figure out how to get the drinking hose connected to the faucet in kitchen... All my tools were in your car that was sitting in the church parking lot. So some how I managed to bare hand it and unscrew the faucet to connect the hardware. In between each contraction, Grace, Samantha, Beate, and I would have “whisper conversations” about your labor progress. Next thing I know, Alisa was sending her assistant to visit first due to her Injured leg. This wasn’t what you wanted so I had to send her a text telling her, “Whitney needs you now.”

I was so happy the whole time. You were going through all this intense sensations and getting all foggy like a frog, but I was so happy & excited... because my baby was coming. It was his birthday. I definitely didn’t want to smile at you while you were having a contraction. That would of come off as rude and not helped your progress. Alisa finally came running up the stairs and the pool was set up with warm water. Soon after her husband was at the door hauling up her birthing goodies... I thought it was hilarious that he was there cause I was joking with Alisa asking if he ever worked as her assistant at a birth and she was mortified at the thought.

All the running around that I usually do for you people were doing for me. I was trying to be so gentle, but you would say, “water, thirsty,” all caveman like and I would translate that into: Could someone please get me a glass of water with a few ice cubes in it and a green straw? It made me feel so secure that I could focus on you and know that not only God was there to help with our spiritual environment but he sent his angels too. And strangely enough they were all women angels.
I didn’t even plan on getting in the pool. I thought, that’s cool that Whitney wants to go swimming to help ease the labor process... but I don’t want to get wet. All things changed when you got in and you were by yourself, no one was there to help you and massage you. It made me sad. And I bolted for my trunks and did a cannonball into the pool. It was awesome being there. It felt like five minutes but I know it was longer. I knew this because I turned on the MP3 player and we managed to listen to half of an “Agents of Future” Album before you asked to put on some Dave Barnes tunes... Grace graced us with her D.J.ing service. You were there but your energy seemed to be everywhere and your attention to the environment was lost. You were in between my legs with your back face to my front and weight resting on me. I would whisper things in your ear. You probably don’t remember… but I told you. “I’m so proud of you. You’re so strong. God is with us. River will be here. Touch your baby his head is sticking out. There he is. Wow.” I grabbed your hand and moved it to touch River’s head and we touched him together. You said, “My baby. Ohh. My baby.” That was the happiest moment in my life. Not because our baby was born but because he was born while you were in my arms.

There couldn’t have been a more perfect song for River to be born. As he was coming out these lyrics graced the air:

There's a mountain, Here before me
And I'm going to climb it, With strength not my own

He's gonna lead me, Or the mountain beats me
Carry me through, Carry me through

There's a river, Here before me
And I'm gonna cross it, with strength not my own
He's gonna save me, Or the river takes me.
Carry me through, Carry me through…

I understand that other men have secret fears of their wives in labor & of not knowing what to do. They are afraid of being hit or yelled/ cussed at… or the being given one of those famous one-liner about being the cause of their wife’s current pain. I had none of those fears. For me, that made all the difference. Completely surrendering to and holding on to the Lord. Faithfully I trusted that the Lord would have his will be done and everything would happen according to His plan, His writing skills, because it was through His pen that our story was written. After experiencing labor from daddy’s perspective I would encourage any father-to-be not to miss out on all the glory- there is such a reverence for life and humanity.



Read Mommy's birth story (Whitney's Blog)

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