To my wife with love,
Well here are some things that happened (during the quick four hours of your labor) while you were in "labor-land" (so you don't forget)- From daddy's prospective. When your water broke you weren't sure if it really was your water that truly broke. That's when I reaffirmed what you already knew in your heart to be true... and then River was born in a pond.
Just kidding :) I know that guys are supposed to be like: "yup. es sir. nope. don't reckon I do" So I'll try and give you a bit more.
Once we had made our way to apartment I had to figure out a scheme to get our A/C fixed and the workers out of the home with out cueing them into you having a home birth... So I told them you were in labor and we need them to be finished as soon as possible. In the back of my head I knew River's labor was going to be quick... but like you said all those statistics were telling me to be open and ready for a long labor. The only thing I didn't want to have happen is for my arms to turn in to jello from massaging your back for days. Now I don't even remember it bothering me at all. So you jumped in the shower and I had a heart to heart with Efran, the A/C guy. I said my wife's water just broke and we are going to have a baby soon. "Wow, get her to the hospital! Congratulations!"
I heard him on the roof fixing it for the next hour but he didn't come back in. And then you handed me the phone. Samantha explained to me that you were starting to not be coherent and you had a bunch of contractions, and that you may be in active labor. Then we gave her a list of what to get and you put on a skirt.
Fast Forward >>>
Then Beate came in and I was thinking what are you doing here, but then she immediately dropped to her knees and held you from the front while I was massaging your back. It was a bit difficult to get to you cause you pulled a mama cat and wedged yourself between the couch and the coffee table. She then, speaking clearly and with the angels all around, "It's okay. You can do it. We're here for you. That was good." and things of that nature, not in that order. Angelically and eloquently she spoke as I switched with Samantha. She massaged. It was awesome to get a break from messaging your back... It felt like I just started but I knew it had been longer. It was such a relief for me because or apartment was so messy... and I wanted it to be picked up so we weren't worrying about this or that being in the way.
My To-Do list at-the-time included:
- wow we are messy... make sure all the clothes get to the baskets
- oops all of our towels are dirty... wash them quick
- oh no... we don't have quarters for the laundry machine.
- get Quarters stat... For real!
- make sure I have all the parts for the birthing pool
- we need cold-er water... get a bag of ice
Then I grabbed the keys, still thinking it was going to be hours until the babe was born, and ran to my Jeep. First I stopped at the ATM on the way to Gas station for that bag of ice. Then to the Kwik wash to get some Quarters for our laundry machines. I know all those places are close to where we live but I did it in less than 5 minutes.
I was so happy the whole time. You were going through all this intense sensations and getting all foggy like a frog, but I was so happy & excited... because my baby was coming. It was his birthday. I definitely didn’t want to smile at you while you were having a contraction. That would of come off as rude and not helped your progress. Alisa finally came running up the stairs and the pool was set up with warm water. Soon after her husband was at the door hauling up her birthing goodies... I thought it was hilarious that he was there cause I was joking with Alisa asking if he ever worked as her assistant at a birth and she was mortified at the thought.
All the running around that I usually do for you people were doing for me. I was trying to be so gentle, but you would say, “water, thirsty,” all caveman like and I would translate that into: Could someone please get me a glass of water with a few ice cubes in it and a green straw? It made me feel so secure that I could focus on you and know that not only God was there to help with our spiritual environment but he sent his angels too. And strangely enough they were all women angels.
There couldn’t have been a more perfect song for River to be born. As he was coming out these lyrics graced the air:
There's a mountain, Here before me
And I'm going to climb it, With strength not my own
He's gonna lead me, Or the mountain beats me
Carry me through, Carry me through
There's a river, Here before me
And I'm gonna cross it, with strength not my own
He's gonna save me, Or the river takes me.
Carry me through, Carry me through…
I understand that other men have secret fears of their wives in labor & of not knowing what to do. They are afraid of being hit or yelled/ cussed at… or the being given one of those famous one-liner about being the cause of their wife’s current pain. I had none of those fears. For me, that made all the difference. Completely surrendering to and holding on to the Lord. Faithfully I trusted that the Lord would have his will be done and everything would happen according to His plan, His writing skills, because it was through His pen that our story was written. After experiencing labor from daddy’s perspective I would encourage any father-to-be not to miss out on all the glory- there is such a reverence for life and humanity.
Read Mommy's birth story (Whitney's Blog)